That movie was just plain shit.

  I just got done watching Dragon Wars. Watching.  I watched it.  Previously engaged in attempting to understand what I was visually seeing. … that's the problem … I got through that whole fucking movie and STILL have no clue A) What was going on, and B) Why it was going on, and 3) the reason for the Dragons in the first place. I can only surmise that at some point, had I known more then just the English Language, there was an explanation in Korean or Dragonese or some other such language.  Here's the problem: I only speak English. …And lets be fair… I don't even do that too well… In any case, at some point in the movie, this dragon had to eat this chick (I think) in order to ascend to be this other type of more powerful dragon.  So basically you need to take the movie "The Fugitive" and remove the dashing US Marshall and replace him with a 300 ft snake that can't be killed and doesn't tire.  With that, you need to remove any form of sentience, and make the Fugitive a hot chick that apparently gives off some sort of Dragon Pheromone that can be tracked for hundreds of miles.  Remove all the good lines, add a splash of "reluctant black guy", and make sure you have debris flying everywhere, all the time, even for no reason, randomly. Normally this would be enough to send you running for the hills, right?  But wait, there's more! It's not enough that there's a "good snake" and a "bad snake", no no no… NOW there's a bad snake army.  The army consists of raptor style dragons that are ridden by these black cloaked people who look like the Kings from Lord of the Rings, then foot soldiers who look like that, some flying dragons that will seem familiar to anybody who isn't into this crap, and, of course, no Dragon Army is complete without fat, walking, dragons with missile launchers strapped to their back. Yes, you read that last line correctly.  Fat walking dragons with mi [...]