Literary Analysis

Nothing is scener than being able to one up your friends by pulling out some deep meaning from a lyric or a poem thanks to your high school English class.  Why just show off your fashion sense (or lack there of) when you can show off your (not so) profound intellect. Great for making you sound like a pretentious asshole, scenesters love finding metaphors, double entendres, imagery, and puns in anything they can. Scene Kid 1: “Dude, Shaant is such a genius! Don’t you get it “it just deepens/depends on how far down you can go” is saying that the more dick you suck, the bigger a whore you are. He’s like a lyrical Einstein!” Scene Kid 2: Yeah, but Buddy from Senses Fail is so much more intellectual. He reads..poetry… Scene Kid 1: I suppose so, but just cause he reads Bukowski doesn’t mean he is Bukowski. Scene Kid 2: Yeah, whatever…… you just don’t get it dude… The only cooler than being able to read between the lines of your favorite scenester jams is being able to write your own words with thirty different meanings. Next to any good scene kid’s copy of Everybody Hurts is a thesaurus and a dictionary. While scribbling away in their Moleskines, scene beans can up their so-called complexity with a fluffy word replacement. “Your love circles my ribcage like a rope, dragging me down with you and every single neon pair of Nike Dunks you wear….the metaphor for my love is as real as you and I John Ohh!” How’s that for “shallow as a shower”? Who really needs Keats, Dickinson , and Wordsworth when there are record stores full of material to be dissected by angsty boys and girls with swoopy haircuts and boat shoes…. really now?

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StuffSceneKidsLike in New York City

So this weekend I headed down to NYC to spend the weekend visiting the fam, and scoping out my future home (I’m moving to the city in the fall). I knew NYC was the hispter/scenester place to be, but I didn’t realize to what extent… Here are some of my scene-tastic findings: (click Continue reading for some flics and pics) PS, in case you didn’t know. New York has its own breed of scenester: the hipster-scenester hybrid. You know, the people that went to every show at Knitting Factory, but still rep Williamsburg like its Jerusalem . As a friend of mine put it, they listen to Brand New and Arcade Fire I hopped off the subway at St. Mark’s place and what do I find? Some girls playing the ukulele. Sorry the video quality is kind of shitty…I still haven’t gotten my flip cam. They gave me a great rendition of Tearin’ Up My Heart. Travis at The Lomography store strapped 12 cameras around his neck, and  hooked it up with an interview. All the little squares behind him are lomo prints. It was really an incredible little store, and it would get you scenesters squirming, wishing Urban Outfitters had some cooler fittings for your lomo. I’m totally itching for the Diana with the Instax back…NGL. Check out http://www.lomography.com and http://repetitivecollective.com Wheatpaste: Nowhere in the world will you find as many wheatpastes as you will in NYC. Not only are they on every (previously) blank posting board and wood covering on construction sites, the majority of them are about indie movies, scenester; on the ~*DL~* bands, and dance parties in brooklyn . The Obama Roll : sushi + the new prez= scene as fuck. Pinkberry: The numero uno over priced frozen yogurt joint. There are knockoffs everywhere (see: Phileo in Philly, Yo Berry & Berry Line in Boston), but only in LA and NYC can you find Bronx, Ash and Pete’s fave dessert . I had Pomegranite with strawberries and bananas….. Froyo+pomegranate+overhyp [...]

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Dudes in Bands

Dudes in bands are the foundation of the scene. They’re scenesters’, hipsters’ and any other -sters’ bread and butter. Wether they’re fat or skinny, old or young, full of STDs or clean, drunk, sober, whatever particularity they may have it’s unimportant. As long as said dude plays something in some sort of remotely (even if it’s only on Twitter) successful band they’re a scenester magnet. I mean, i guess it makes sense…the scene is based on music, so without the dudes to make the bands there would be no scene, and thus no scene kids to love them and want to be them. Saporta, Bemis, and even the dudes in the background ( see: Josh from Four Year Strong ) can instantly become the center of every meet and greet the place their magic Sharpie on. The typical scene kid, in their never ending quest for a sliver of fame will listen attentively to the token band dude and desperately try to relate to them in hopes of some life tips… cause dudes in bands totally did the “how to be successful in life thing” the way it usually works out… My favorite thing about dudes in bands is that they stick out like a sore thumb, no matter where you are. In the city, they’ve got this swagger that only a musician could have. Not to mention the tight jeans, leather jackets and/or flannel and slip ons and/or badass leather boots. In a mall, they’re always the ones peddling CDs outside of Hot Topic in their scene as fuck sack hats and deep v’s. And at Wal-Marts, they’re the ones in the shitty vans in the parking lot, taking grills from outside and “returning” them for store credit to stock up on the Top Ramen. No matter how classy or trashy, they’ll always be a staple, and every scene kid will always pine for a tall glass of guitar player when they get the chance.

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SSKL Presents: Slapisback.com

Hello everyone, today we’re proud and excited to introduce our new store, slapisback.com.  SSKL has taken the initiative to bring back what has been gone for far too long, SLAP BRACELETS. Some of you are saying well what in the hell is a slap bracelet, as you are probably too young to have experienced them in their mid 90’s glory days, but those of you who do are like YES. (You know who you are). Right now we’re featuring two slap bracelets, an i

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My prayers have finally been answered

By the fashion Gods Upside Of A Down Economy: Crocs To Go Out Of Business Posted March 27th, 2009 by Ned Hepburn Crocs - the shoe for the kind of person who thinks books are too wordy, or thinks that putting something on your feet that doesn't make you look like an asylum inmate is for other people - has recently posted that their financial future may not be looking so bright.

Shopping Online

From Demi Lovato to the dudes in Escape the Fate, every true scenester loves themselves some online shopping. Why go to the mall and face mall rats, cashiers, and that kid that always messages you on Myspace, when there are a plethora of stores bigger and better than those in the mall, right at your fingertips? After putting together your outfit on Polyvore.com , tab, tab, tab your browser to get your e-shop on. The great alternative to being the asshole that buys band tees at Hot Topic is, thanks to the new millennium,  in the form of pay pal and a figurative shopping cart. With BigCartel , Storenvy , Merch Direct , Zambooie , West Aspen , and the Victory , FBR , and Fearless Records e-stores for all of your band merch needs, you can be as hip as everyone who isn’t still in high school and sport all the legit merch, rather than the less than great Newbury Comics alternative . Besides the multitude of merch online stores, there are even more “independent clothing lines”, aka designers (or wannabe scene queens) making designs and pasting them on to t-shirts. There are some companies that are better than others (see: Stereobear Clothing & Applicant Apparel ), and there are others that are just embarrassing. Clip art is not cool…sorry Johnny Cupcakes…( every middle schooler that “designed a shirt” that goes for you too ) When you get sick of t-shirts and hoodies, there are even more online stores. Ebay has a bit of everything for scene kids, (not so) mall goths, and everyone in between. check out these babies to accompany your wool dreaded wig: HAWT. There is something for everyone on the internet, but the best of the best is the useless crap. Who doesn’t love it? Scene beans, put your hands down. For handmade trinkets there’s Etsy, and for the rest of it you can head to the girl everyone loves to hate, Kiki Kannibal, or Jac Vanek. But if you want to bring it back old school, you have to check out the gem we f [...]

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Bret Michaels

Nothing says SEXY in the scene world than Bret Michaels. Not only has he been around longer than most scene bean’s parents, he played The Bamboozle last year, AND he has some sweet extensions….. APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!

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